The Road Not Taken

The Hermit

2010-09-09T10:12:00.004-04:00

He lives alone in his wilderness,

in a cave in silent solitude;

every morning he arises,

leaves his bare abode,

and wanders in between the tall trees

where life and competition

surge up and down and in between.

He makes his way methodically,

to the brook where he will sit and fish,

for breakfast, lunch and dinner;

nuts and berries he collects from passing bushes,

and when he has his food,

sits and eats as he watches

the world pass by.

The bird, the deer, the rabbit,

all dance around and about him,

scarcely noticing him most of the time,

him who blends into the background of their world,

but sometimes accepting a tidbit,

a nibble out of the hermit's offerings,

before flitting back into the woods,

to carry on their way of life.

He often makes his way,

up to that lonely hill;

there he sits and meditates,

withdrawing from the world,

putting his mind to work on other things.

Day after day he continues,

until one day he arises no more;

and who will know him then?

Thus is the life,

of the inconspicuous city dweller.

2010-08-30T22:28:00.002-04:00

what do you do

when all the world seems blue

who do you turn to

to rant and cry

and show the illogical you

what do you say

to the people who care and love you everyday

where do you go

when you feel this low

dedicated to those who fight depression

KL, SERI Style

2010-07-09T09:19:00.002-04:00

Visit SERI's website here for photos and much much more!

It was at an absurd hour of 4.55am on 5 July 2010 when Jeffrey pulled up at my house. Having stayed up late packing and preparing, I had barely slept but was ready to start our two day venture to Kuala Lumpur. SERI staff comprimising of our executive director YB Liew Chin Tong, staff members and interns were making an expository visit to Parliament, the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP), the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), Research for Social Advancement (REFSA) and the Institute of Strategic and International Studies (ISIS).

Climbing into the car, our assistant editor of the Penang Economic Monthly pushed off from my house and made for the main road. We were to pick up another intern, Aimy, before hitting the highway. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a case of the blind leading the blind as we took wrong turn after wrong turn and veered wildly off course, searching in vain for an address neither of us was sure about; a prelude of things to come. We eventually made it to her home, and finally left Penang at 5.30am. Fortunately, the drive to KL was smooth and we made it to Parliament in good time.

After registering as visitors, the staff eventually made their way into the hall where the session was taking place. YB Liew was slated to ask the sixth question that morning, addressed to the Minister of Home Affairs concerning the General Operation Force. After about half an hour of trying to decipher Malay that was mumbled softly into microphones which echoed across the chamber, we met up with YB Liew and YB Dr. Hou Kok Chung, the Deputy Minister of Higher Education and YB Liew’s former teacher/lecturer at University Malaya . The group spent about half an hour asking YB Dr. Hou questions, and issues such as Malaysian universities rankings, multi-linguism and the teaching of Math and Science in English were touched upon. YB Dr. Hou mentioned that the Malaysia’s complex multi-lingual educational environment actually made Malaysian students highly adaptable and as one who spent 18 months in a foreign land, I could see truth in his words.

We then met next with YB Khalid Samad, the MP for Shah Alam. YB Khalid spoke about his interest in energy and Malaysia’s move towards nuclear power. He also briefly spoke about his experience during Ops Lalang.

After that, YB Liew then explained to us how Malaysia’s parliamentary system works. In the Q&A process, questions have to be submitted three months prior to the sittings. Consequently, many of the questions may be rendered irrelevant by the time Parliament sits, such as oil price issues which can change dramatically within that period. In comparison, the United Kingdom’s Parliament requires questions to be submitted just three days prior to sitting. In Australia, two hours are devoted to Q&A where any and all questions are fielded. Unlike UK and Australia where there is full media coverage, Malaysia’s Parliamentary sittings are aired for the first 30 minutes only. Progress and transparency are not yet hallmarks of our Parliament.

Before adjourning for lunch in the cafeteria, we were shown around the Parliamentary Library where we were introduced to the place’s most important inhabitants: books, documents and stenographs. The Library is the place for research if you are an MP and need to look into issues. Conversation in Parliament gets full media coverage as even laughter is recorded in the pages of stenographs, and these documents are available online. If you are able to read and imagine yourself in the room, you could travel back in time as documents of Parliament under the British are still kept and records on Singapore are also available.

After lunch, we met with YB Chong Eng, the MP for Bukit Mertajam and a passionate advocate for women’s rights. By this time, I was suffering from lack of sleep from the previous night coupled with the usual post-lunch hour drowsiness. In a daze, I followed the group led by YB Chong Eng up to the 13th floor – Opposition territory. After a round of introductions, I began to revive when discussions and questions were had on the importance of women’s representation and voice in politics, and the challenges faced in obtaining a 30% women membership rate in Parliament.

We eventually left Parliament and after rounding the block a few times thanks to our GPS (a constant theme during this KL trip), we checked into Tune Hotel at 3pm. After a brief respite, and in spite of an unreliable GPS and a series of missed turns (That were totally not the driver’s fault, honest. - Jeffrey), we made our way to Wisma UN for a briefing at UNDP. We were greeted and briefed by Mr James George Chacko and Miss Anita Ahmad who outlined UNDP’s role here in Malaysia. Operating with a grand total of six staff members, UNDP does not run any development programmes here in Malaysia. Rather, their role is to inform and advise the government about issues and responsibilities that Malaysia has committed too. They conduct studies and would help train Malaysian personnel, but would not take charge in implementing programs. YB Liew and staff from REFSA, including general manager Cleo Tan, joined us for the briefing and after a Q&A session, the group thanked the UNDP representatives and left at 6.30pm.

We then had dinner together at Decanter at Bukit Damansara. Reaching our hotel room at 9.15pm, bed was all that mattered and it was lights out well before 10pm for Aimy and me.

***

Tuesday morning saw the group check out of Tune Hotel and make its way through KL traffic to UNHCR. Thanks to the lessons learned from yesterday, good driving from Jeffrey and a bit of luck, our car triumphantly made it to UNHCR half an hour early; a nice change from the previous day. Eventually, we were all collected there and briefed by Mr. Jose Alvin Gonzaga and Ms. Asha Dhillon on the role of the UNHCR and the refugee situation in Malaysia. The majority of refugees in Malaysia are Myanmar Rohingyas and while the government is well aware of the refugee community’s existence, there is as yet no legal framework which engages or protects them. Questions were interspersed with briefings and animated discussions took place about the various legal complications an asylum seeker faces and the Malaysian government’s role (or lack of one) in dealing with refugees. Indeed, UNHCR has stretched themselves thin and now handles duties such as registration and legal intercession for refugees. Following that, the group was given a tour of the facilities by Registration Officer Mikaeel Abdullah. We left UNHCR, more informed about the plight of refugees in Malaysia.

After lunching at a Peranakan outlet and sitting down to pai tee, chendol and laksa (which tasted suspiciously like curry mee), the group made their way to REFSA. An established publishing house by now, editor Jennifer Friis outlined REFSA’s brief history and involvement with the Bersih rally in 2007. YB Liew then briefed us about REFSA’s publications, which include the bestselling The Budget: How the Government is Spending Our Money and the Rocket newsletter. REFSA proved to be our assistant editor’s favourite place of interest thus far as he suddenly seemed to spring to life with his first inquisitive questions, an enraptured fire kindled in his eyes.

After that, the group made their way to ISIS. They were greeted by Dr. Tang Siew Mun, their Director of the Bureau of Foreign Policy & Security Studies and professed lover of Penang char koay teow and otak-otak. Dr. Tang explained ISIS’s role as a policy think tank that dealt more with macro issues and advising the government. He spoke about conferences organised by ISIS such as the Young Professionals, and entertained questions from the group. The KL trip ended with a tour of ISIS’s building and library which is open to the public and boasts a comprehensive collection on Politics and International Affairs.

At 5pm, the SERI staff made their way at their leisure back to Penang. We had gone into the concrete jungle and come away with new awareness and knowledge. For me, I have personally learned that

1) Malaysia still has a long way to go in politics and the Parliamentary process.

2) UNDP plays largely an informatory and advisory role in Malaysia.

3) UNHCR, while also informatory and advisory, has stepped into a government’s role in dealing with refugees.

4) Think tanks seem to be generally underfunded.

5) Jeffrey’s GPS is crap.

All in all, this KL trip was highly successful and I believe that the SERI staff who participated in it were able to absorb the experience and effectively broaden their horizons.

Thanks goes to Jeffrey Hardy Quah for editing and for driving us safely to, from and around KL!

2nd and 3rd weeks of work

2010-06-13T22:08:00.000-04:00

The second week passed pretty uneventfully with work concentrated on finishing the article and corresponding with OWL on it. Dr. Chan was sought on Wednesday morning for advice of which there was slight panic on whether Total Use meant domestic or overall total.

Friday morning was surely the highlight of the week with the MMK meeting at Komtar.

Ramasamy was Chairperson and OWL presented the data to those present with Dr. Chan there to answer questions. Controversy arose around some of the figures and it is a reminder people should keep in mind that numbers do not tell the whole story. Numbers without context are meaningless and should not be scrutinized without background knowledge.

On Tuesday the nest week, I went back to work on the article with OWL and happily, we managed to send it in on Wednesday before the day was over. OWL was not around on Thursday and Friday but I had things to do and read. Thursday evening at SERI was the talk by Datuk Seri Lim Chong Keat who was involved with the ins and outs of planning for Komtar.

The talk was interesting albeit mostly way over my head. Still, it's just a reminder that there is so much more to be learned =)

P.S., Please go to http://www.motour.gov.my/ and vote on the poll on whether the concrete arches in Botanical Gardens should be retained. Ordinarily, I would not "get involved" but on this occasion, personal participation may be necessary... This poll came to my notice last week and at that time, over 90% of the correspondents had voted "No" indicating that they were NOT in favour of retaining the arches. However, this morning, alerted by a colleague, the current ratio says 50% to 50%. Noted that a final decision may not be made on a mere poll, but trust the government to use it as "evidence" should the results come out in their favour.

1st Week of Work

2010-05-30T20:42:00.003-04:00

My first week at the Socio-Economic and Environmental Research Institute (SERI) passed without mishap. Now sitting at my desk on my second Monday on the job, I will attempt to write about it a little bit (I would have had to give a weekly report of what I did/learnt on the job if I had taken this internship for academic credit).

Anyway, My first day was uneventful enough with data entry to do only.

My supervisor/boss/person-I-work-under gave me about 30 forms of a Visitor Profile Survey with 4-5 pages length each at least. Fun stuff.
It wasn't too bad... Took the whole day to finish entering the data... Apparently, I was expected to finish it all in one day though Haha but really, it wasn't as if I was rushing through it! There just wasn't much else to do...

Day 2 commenced with a meeting/lecture under Dr. Chan who explained the Input/Output data tables to us (my boss, myself and whoever else was interested). Then, we were given the task of analyzing the data and subsequently writing an article for the magazine SERI produces: Penang Economic Monthly (PEM).

So we started work on it a little bit that second day...
My boss ,OWL, had a meeting to prepare for at the end of the day that kept her occupied for most the second day. So I was basically left to play around with the data which I did at my leisure.

Wednesday proved more eventful as early in the morning, OWL took me to attend a meeting where SERI presented a proposal to PDC. So that was where we met with a potential client so to speak. Our GM gave a short power point presentation and when questions came, Dr. Chan answered them. It took about an hour and after that we headed back to SERI.

On Thursday, I finished analyzing the IO tables after lunch and gave them to OWL to look over. Fun fun =)

So that was first week of work! or the gist of what I did as work at least...

The other stuff that comes with work such as colleagues, lunch hours, office interactions were also a pleasant experience. SERI's staff are a friendly, helpful bunch which are fun to talk to and be around. Thank you!

Special thanks goes to Stefan for all the music (^@^)

Back from KL

2010-05-22T09:35:00.002-04:00

So... I'm back home in Penang =)

It has been a lovely 6 days in KL so thank you to all the people who made it such a blessing!!

Thanks for taking me out to makan and welcoming me so readily as a friend.

It has been great catching up/getting to know you all!

Thanks for all the uniquely Malaysian moments such as (i) people scrambling to pay the bill, (ii) the mix of English, Malay, Mandarin and Hokkien when we have conversations and (iii) Kantoi song (Thanks Mel!!)

Thank you for the relaxed, friendly attitudes, for the laughs and for the care.

Mel and Ci, thanks for putting up with me in your room!!

I had a great time!

Wrapping it up, Packing it in

2010-05-06T19:15:00.003-04:00

I am packing.

Or should be... I have half formulated ideas about what I want to bring home and what I want to keep in storage... Originally, I thought that most of my clothes will be kept away in storage for the summer and a minority of my clothes will be following me back to M.A.L.A.Y.S.I.A!

Now, however, after putting most of the clothes that will be staying put here in the U.S. of A., the reverse seems to be true.

Oh don't worry, there's still a bunch of winter stuff hanging in my closet that will be packed away in boxes and a hundred other little items from shampoo to books to pens that lie scattered around my room that will not see daylight for three months but I fear that the two suitcases (one medium, one small) that I hope to bring back may not be enough. Hmmm..... Packing is such a pain (>.<)

Oh I'll get it done eventually but I think that I need to sit and organize things in my mind first before further attempting to pack. Sigh. Time is short now and in a handful of days, I will be back in the land of Char Koay Teow and Chendol (which by the way, to those of you who want to make me happy... *Hint! *Hint!!)

So anyway, the year has almost ended and my third semester is almost all wrapped up.

The only reason why I am still on campus in Ohio in lieu of beautiful California is Res Life returning staff training where we are asked to reflect about our experiences, asked to give our opinions about them, and brainstorm for the coming Fall training in August.

Well, at least my academic year had a more exciting ending...

Three finals in two days after a semester of 21 credit hours and an honors project was a lovely way to spend the last 15 weeks. Happily though, I got to sit in in Vertebrate Zoology - one of the best classes I have ever had in all aspects. Thank you Dr. Schaefor and all the best in Montana!

Details of that class deserves its own blog post so I will not elaborate further here.

So, I got through the classes, homework, assignments, finals and all the blood, sweat and tears to be able to look on self service at my grade report and be happy with the little alphabets next to my class titles.

Was it worth it?

Absolutely. Taking 21 credits this semester, more than one person called me crazy. The disbelief and outraged reactions when people here 21 credits is most entertaining. There were several rationales to why I took such a loaded semester but I am totally happy and have no regrets that I did it. I now know my limits and a little bit of tears, and a little bit of sweat makes success all the sweeter. It has been a full semester. It has been a fun semester.

I have made life-long friends; and learned life-long lessons.

Spring 2010 has been my most challenging educational time I have had since I have been in the U.S. and I thank all those who have stuck by me and supported me either through your words, presence or prayers.

It's been a good long time since I've been away from family and from home.

It's good to be going back.

Status

2010-05-06T01:00:00.002-04:00

So..... Long time no write =)

Apologies to those who care to read my blog, I have not posted anything for something like 6 months. Why? Well, quite frankly, I did not have the time and will to post anything.

I took off for Winter Break in December and have a very very busy Spring semester. There was a lot for me to do in the past 15 weeks which includes homework, classes, studying, watching movies, spending time with friends, being a CE, and just having a very full life.

Thank you to those who have helped me get through it, it was madness at some points so thank you for keeping me sane =)

Well, now that my blog has officially surpassed Krystle's as the most dead blog, I can announce a planned resurrection as I will be home (yes Penang, Malaysia home) for the Summer Break!

Anyway, I will theoretically have (more) time to blog during the three months I am back so you can perhaps expect more frequent posts yes?

Anyway, keep updated and live life because all our days are numbered =)

Strength Finders Profile

2009-12-20T00:59:00.002-05:00

Your Signature Themes

Many years of research conducted by The Gallup Organization suggest that the most effective people are those who understand their strengths and behaviors. These people are best able to develop strategies to meet and exceed the demands of their daily lives, their careers, and their families.

A review of the knowledge and skills you have acquired can provide a basic sense of your abilities, but an awareness and understanding of your natural talents will provide true insight into the core reasons behind your consistent successes.

Your Signature Themes report presents your five most dominant themes of talent, in the rank order revealed by your responses to StrengthsFinder. Of the 34 themes measured, these are your "top five."

Your Signature Themes are very important in maximizing the talents that lead to your successes. By focusing on your Signature Themes, separately and in combination, you can identify your talents, build them into strengths, and enjoy personal and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.

Learner

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Deliberative

You are careful. You are vigilant. You are a private person. You know that the world is an unpredictable place. Everything may seem in order, but beneath the surface you sense the many risks. Rather than denying these risks, you draw each one out into the open. Then each risk can be identified, assessed, and ultimately reduced. Thus, you are a fairly serious person who approaches life with a certain reserve. For example, you like to plan ahead so as to anticipate what might go wrong. You select your friends cautiously and keep your own counsel when the conversation turns to personal matters. You are careful not to give too much praise and recognition, lest it be misconstrued. If some people don’t like you because you are not as effusive as others, then so be it. For you, life is not a popularity contest. Life is something of a minefield. Others can run through it recklessly if they so choose, but you take a different approach. You identify the dangers, weigh their relative impact, and then place your feet deliberately. You walk with care.

Input

You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

Responsibility

Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.

Achiever

Your Achiever theme helps explain your drive. Achiever describes a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by “every day” you mean every single day—workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an Achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. It is the theme that keeps you moving.

Wind Down

2009-12-19T17:17:00.002-05:00

This post has little direction and no particular point

Fall 2009 semester is over and winter break has begun!!

4 months have flown by filled with new experiences, new friends, and new things learned.

Thank you all who made it so special =)

Now, it's -3 Celsius outside and white. Last night's snowfall has left the campus a cold, deserted, winter wonderland.

Most of the students in MUC have left for home leaving the campus (and Alliance) almost lifeless where the glimpse of a homo sapient is a rare occasion.

Okay, I'm exaggerating... I have just spent pretty much the whole day on my bed Skyping with people from home. Plus it's a Saturday!! (meaning admin and non-teaching staff are not around) and I've just gotten done with finals.

Oh well, I should be doing errands, packing, or giving my room a long overdue tidy-up and vacuum but laziness and the feeling of just doing nothing has won over practicality.

So, to avoid the death of my blog, this is a short update entry...

Hmm.. maybe I should start taking requests on what to write about...

I think...

2009-12-04T18:05:00.001-05:00

that talking makes me emotional...

Random, I know.

Haircut

2009-12-03T14:40:00.007-05:00

Hmm Interesting! (^@^)

Bob cut

Pixie cut

Classic Pixie cut

No worries... I won't be cutting my hair at all til I get back to Malaysia... Then... Hehehe we'll see!

But thanks for the suggestions Yench! ;)

Once upon a time...

2009-11-20T20:06:00.009-05:00

I sit down to write...

forcing myself to get it done...

but everytime I try to start...

the words refuse to come...

Like some paralysing fear...

irrational though it may be...

I can't quite comprehend...

this strange effect you have on me...

What was once between us...

a lifetime ago it seems...

there used to be a comradery...

a sharing of hopes and dreams...

Somewhere the road twisted unnoticed...

we stumbled and never recovered...

we turned a dire corner...

from which we never returned...

I don't know if it was me...

I can't quite say it was you...

All I know is that now...

our relationship is a constant shade of blue...

Oh! What happened?

Was it Ignorance,

Pride, or Shame?

Insensitivity played its part...

Didn't Unforgiveness too?

Surely Misunderstanding had a hand in it?

Didn't you see Bitterness in the shadows?

Hurt and Pain followed...

Probably Anger too...

Where was Joy, Love, and Trust?

All the good times have gone...

Leaving me ill

and empty

and sad...

Do you feel that way too?

Things will never be the same...

No matter if all was solved tomorrow...

I don't want or need it so...

I just feel this great deep sorrow...

At what was lost...

and how we've turned away...

so fast yet so slow...

so much time in so few days...

I still have yet to write that letter...

am wondering if I even should...

it might change nothing at all...

there's that fear that nothing would...

It really seems...

like I have nothing left to lose...

and yet I hesitate and hold back...

'don't care' or 'just confused'??

I suppose it has to be done...

even though our paths may never again cross...

yet to begin, to try to talk...

for once, I am utterly at a loss...

Just do it! Nike says...

maybe time heals is my foolish hope...

time and tide have done their work...

Over now is the time to mope!

I will write to you!

Be gone! Doubt and Fear!

God bless the words...

and grant clarity to you, the reader...

for if you stay ur hand...

and read my letter...

it is my hope...

that things may become better...

Leave me, Angst

Leave me, Fear

may we at last understand each other

and may we at least be civil

and remember the good together

the good that was once so beautiful

If all fails, however...

and the damage proves irreparable...

I will not change my hope for you...

to shake your hand

and take my leave

and wish you well on your journeys

I will take the good times

and wait for the end

whence we may then have the chance

to sit down

and have a coffee (or tea)

and speak of our time on earth

where we met

then parted ways

and we may once again remember

why we are friends.

Wish List

2009-11-13T16:23:00.003-05:00

1. plate of Char Koay Teow

2. bowls of Chendol

3. months in Penang with friends

4. hours on the volleyball court

5. hugs from the Ch'ng family

I wonder...

2009-11-03T22:04:00.006-05:00

When humans err

and turn their backs on God,

Did God ever ask Himself:

"What did I do wrong?"

Backpacking in Dolly Sods

2009-10-30T20:35:00.022-04:00

Warning! This is an extremely long post.
For those who want pictures instead/in addition, go to facebook.
A 7 minute video can be found here.

It was cold

It was wet

But I survived =)

It wasn't that hard really, to survive I mean.

Our backpacking troupe consisting of Dr. Tidman and his wife, Ben, Mike, Amy, Erica, Stefan, and myself were to leave campus at 12 noon.

I was NOT a happy camper...

Mainly because as off the days prior to the trip, I felt like I had absolutely zero time to do anything.

It was meeting after meeting...
Homework assignment after homework assignment...
Meeting after meeting...
Class after class...
.
.
.
You get the gist =)

Anyway, I had a scant 20 minutes to stuff clothes and what not into my backpack, jam on the hiking shoes borrowed from Dr. Tidman, haul the whole load on my back, and huff my way to Keener House where the white van of Mount Union awaited.
In the 100 meters I had to walk from my dorm to our meeting place, the bag was heavy.
I was breathing harder than usual by the time I got there.
Needless to say, I was not happy.

After fitting my bag into the van and signing another form of something or other, we were off!
To McDonalds at least to get lunch >.<>Oh well....

After collecting our food, we were good to go!
So hence, we started on our 5 hour drive down to Dolly Sods, West Virginia.

We went from Ohio to West Virginia to Pennslyvania to West Virginia to Maryland to West Virginia.

Confused? Google Map it =)

So... Fast forward to Dolly Sods as nothing terribly write worthy happened unless you are interested in the fact that I slept for parts of the way supposedly due to exhaustion from running around over the past few days.

Anyway, Dolly Sods gave us a bumpy welcome as Dr. Tidman took a (supposedly) shorter, less bumpy road up a hill to where we would start our trek.

Of course, it had to be raining that time and foggy to boot but no worries... It was approaching 6 and getting dark but this is not a horror novel where people get lost in the woods or drive off a cliff and are hunted but a deranged psychopath =)

We got there safe and sound and now had to get out of our warm dry vehicle and begin our hike through the woods
in the rain
with a heavy backpack on our bags
Fun fun =)

So... We get our packs, throw on our ponchos, adjust them, lace up our hiking boots, and off we go in a line!

Dr. Tidman on point followed by Amy, then me, them Erica, then Stefan, then Mike, then Mrs. Tidman with Ben volunteering to sweep.

It wasn't as bad as it sounds =)

It was "relaxing" in a way that you didn't have to think about anything other than concentrating on where to put ur foot next on the waterlogged trail. It had been raining for most of our way to Dolly Sods and streams and mini rivers flowed in our path. We did alot of rock hopping which required some concentration and an almost constant downward view (on my part at least) to avoid breaking an ankle.

Our group got "split up" a bit due to the unavoidable fact that Erica couldn't keep up with the pace. Through no fault of hers, her God given legs of shorter length couldn't take strides as long or as fast as the rest of us.
Poor Stefan, the long legs of our group reported taking 1 step for every 3 of Erica's.

He eventually bypassed her, caught up with the 3 of us further in front and was then stuck behind me, taking 1 step for every 3 of mine =) Sorry dude!

Anyway, we reached the half way point and decided to keep going. We had already hiked a mile but we were still fresh so on we went!

***

Reaching our campsite, we had a couple of options:

1) Stay on our side of the river

2) Cross the river to an island in the middle of the river

We decided on number 2 on the grounds that it was just brighter on the island and it was a pretty sweet campsite. It was getting dark fast so we got to the work of pitching tent rite away.

We rock hopped across with our gear and set about it.

It was misting but it was pleasent enough.

The 8 of us would be split into 3 tents:

2 man tent for the Tidmans

1 man tent for Ben

4 man tent for the 5 of us left

We put up a tarp as well as it threatened to rain some more and there, Mrs. Tidman set up kitchen. Yup, blue flame liquid fuel, stove, and tin foil wind shield. Pretty cool =)

She boiled water and poured that into "quick rice" where you just add water. Cepat dan sedap!

We each had half a packet of precooked chicken to go with the cranberry rice. Yummm!

Eating out of a ziplock back with an almost indestructible spoon standing under a tarp tied between dripping wet trees in the dark when it was raining cats and dogs and cold is certainly an experience! (^@^)

Anyway, after dinner, we rinsed our plates/bowls/eating utensils in the river and got ready for bed.

It was 9.30 pm.

Well, it was dark and you couldn't see much past your nose without a flashlight and of course I didn't have a flashlight!

Dr. Tidman had a pack of cards but all of Stefan's potential card playing partners were not interested.

So sleep it was!

I had trouble with my sleeping bag in that it wouldn't zip up. Broken zip.

So I would just sleep with it wrapped around instead of zipped up in it...

It was cold.

It was wet.

It rained.

I woke up a few times on the hard ground because of the cold mostly.

We were arranged such that I was at the edge of the group but it wasn't too bad =)

Apparently though, Stefan and I had a good bit of the tent ground while the other 3 were supposedly squished at the other end. 3 feet is alot in a tent.

Oh well, that was not the only thing that went "wrong".

During the course of the night, the rain pelted down and the river swelled.

Swelled and rose so that when we awoke the next morning, the island was reduced to an islet.

The river water had risen and flooded any depressions on our campsite.

Half a step outisde our 4 man tent and you were stepping in water.

The Tidmans were even closer.

Well, first order of business was to find a way off our island.

The rocks we had used to jump across the previous day were submerged and there was a current.

Dr. Tidman, in poncho and with walking stick, Moses style forded the river and tried to find a way across. No parting of the water unfortunately...

He returned after having found a way across the river back to the side where we had come from.

He also tossed out our options:

1) Get back and go back to the car

2) Get back and continue our journey

Going with the second option meant fording the river at another place where it was much wider albeit shallower.

We decided to get back to the river bank first.

The had to cross a stretch of perhaps 5 meters but the water was up past my knees.

For Erica, it was mid thigh.

We would have to cross the murky water barefooted with our pants rolled up as high as possible with our back packs.

Not to mention, the water was cold.

Alright then...off we go!

We crossed one by one with Dr. Tidman helping us first, Ben in the middle of the river, and Mike near the river bank. Mrs. Tidman stood a ways down river in the hopes of catching anyone who fell into the river and got swept down.

Slip and slide we went!

Amy got across with minimal incident even though she got wet up to the hip.

Erica got across safe.

And I... made it past Ben before my foot slipped, my knees buckled, and Oops! I was down.

Being mid stomach down in icy water, off balance, and fighting the current with a heavy back pack sure woke me up.

I made it with minimal damage and my stuff kept mostly dry to to waterproofing.

Stefan then made it across followed by Mrs. Tidman.

Now that all our group was standing on the same side, the boys took off to go see the second crossing. The girls followed after drying off a little bit but the eventualy verdict was: No way with our backpacks.

I guess we will have to save it for another day!

So, we turned and trekked back pretty much the way we came back to the van to recover and replan.

***

Back closer to civilization, Dr. Tidman inquired about alternative routes from fellow wilderness trekkers while we made our way to a rocky outcropping for lunch.

This time, we had beef jerky, cheese, wheat bits, and freeze dried strawberries and pinepples with peanut butter if we wanted. It was absolutely sumptious!

We took the opportunity to spread out some of our wet things i.e. socks, boots, sleeping bag, and clothes while we munched on lunch and took in the view.

We trooped back to the van after lunch where we drove for a few minutes and parked at the start of another trail.

We got going as it was around mid afternoon and pitching tent in the dark was no fun.

This was a more woodsie trail as there were trees on either side and the trail was soft underfoot with mud and leaf litter. Rocks and stones marked our trail which Erica was none too pleased about but it was a pleasant walk.

Stefan's boot had decided to grow a mouth earlier that morning as the sole of the shoe came away from the body and his other boot, feeling neglected decided to follow suit.

Dr. Tidman turned Dr. Quack and duct taped the mouths close =)

Onward!

We had to ford a "stream" and walk a ways but eventually, we made it to the campsites.

We got about setting up camp right away on an open, windy area near the cliff.

Stefan and I went to pump water and we first went further along the trail to seek out a water source. No luck that way with the water but we instead found something better: a sheltered campsite tucked away behind a wall of trees and bushes located further inland with a rocky cliff nearby that had an awesome view.

We retraced our steps and informed our fellow campers who did move camp while we doubled back from where we had come to a proper stream to pump water and fill a 5 gallon water bottle plus additional individual water tumblers.

After about half an hour of pumping, we we done and headed back.

We collected our stuff and rejoined the group at our new campsite.

Mrs. Tidman was busy in the "kitchen" and Mike, Amy, Ben, and Dr. Tidman were gathering firewood.

Dinner was pasta with chicken and Ben had successfully got the fire going.

As the sky grew dark, there was hot chocolate to be drunk, boots to dry around the fire, and wet socked feet to steam off.

Marshmellows on sharpened marshmellow sticks came out and with it Graham crackers and Hershey's chocolate to make smores!

Mrs. Tidman mixed some dough and fried some kind of biscuit/bread/donut/pancake for us =)

Mike, Dr. Tidman, Ben, Stefan, and I stayed round the campfire and played a couple rounds of a word game before turning in.

We had the same sleeping arrangement as the night before.

This time though, I slept on a slope and Stefan had a root digging into his back =)

We settled down at 9 something again but sleep did not come automatically to me.

I felt wide awake and lying in the dark, we could hear the wind howling outside.

The wind buffeted the trees and sounded like waves on the beach...

Boy, were we glad that we had changed camp! We would have been blown frozen cold in our first campsite!

Lying in the dark and quiet, with my ear pressed to the ground, the was a brief period of "excitement" when rustling and the crunch of leaves underfoot made me think that someone or something was about.

A flashlight lighted up my side of the tent and I let my imagination run =)

I eventually dozed off but had a very sleep-wake-up second portion of the night.

Namely, due to cold.

Off at the side of the tent with the wall of the tent on one side and the tree root and a foot in between the others and me (no pushing or shoving for move space that night!), I couldn't get warm enough to fall asleep for a long period of time.

Having an unzipped sleeping bag where the cold air could come in didn't help much either.

I kept trying to avoid taking up too much space as had happened the previous night and constantly tried to give the others more space which meant that I spent most of the second part of my night stuck up on the slope away from the warmth of bodies.

Well, eventually though, Stefan was kind enough to switch places with me for the rest of the night and I spent the third part of my night decided warmer and more asleep.

***

Next morning, break fast was a combination of oats, hot chocolate, cheesy bacon eggs, and rehydrated caramalised sliced apples =) Delicious!

We were then sent off for 1 hour personal reflection where we were left to ponder about life and how to treat it. We were in an Environmental Ethics class after all...

So we each made our way to the rocky cliff and spent time reflecting/enjoying the view =)

My boots had dried alot and were now only damp in contrast to yesterday's soaking wet we I took them off and set them down for the wind to further dry them out.

After some minutes, I decided to put them back on and walk up the trail to where there were more rocky outcroppings.

There, I spent quite a nice time just being alone, turning down the stress, taking a breather, and trying to think deep philosophical thoughts.

I managed to make some abstract thought about categorizing rivers and mountains and plants and animals and humans but was soon stuck on inherent/intrinsic value.

I settled on my own private rock blocked of my a couple of trees and decided to just enjoy the sun, while lying on cool rock and breathing fresh air...

Stefan "found" me after some time and failed at his sneak attack but I quized my philosophical friend about the definition of intrinsic value.

We talked a little bit about it and battered around ideas and thoughts about it, about God, and about life...

The minutes passed and eventually Dr. Tidman found us and got us back to camp where the others were all packed up and waiting for us ^.^

We collected our gear and then joined the others for a group photo on the rocky outcropping with the vales and brown forests behind and below us.

Then we set back the way we came and our group got separated again as Amy, Ben, and Mike had gone very much further ahead while the rest tried to catch up. We diverged paths at a fork in the trail with Dr. Tidman going one way and Mrs. Tidman, Stefan, Erica, and myself going another shorter way to where we parked the van.

Or so we thought.

The trail to the campsite had sloped more vertically, making us go down and up and down and we had to cross a river.

This new trail had a gentle incline with no river to ford and new territory.

It would've been a fairly pleasent walk in what was beautiful weather but our presumption that it was a quicker, shorter route proved a souring point.

We not only walked what felt like the same distance as the other trail out of the woods but had come out a mile or so further away from where the van was parked.

and Mrs. Tidman had the car key.

So now, we had to trek up a dusty road with the sun shining down on our backs.

Note: Do not wear fleece on a hot sunny day. It does not absorb sweat >.<

Onward march...

We made it up the face of a hill in the hopes that we would see the glint of sunlight on steel parked on the side of the road...

No such luck.

There was a fairly long stretch of road in front of us with no cars parked in sight.

Anyway... we were obviously getting less and less happy about our choice of trails and wondering when we would ever reach the van when lo and behold; along comes a white van...

We stopped with fingers crossed that it would bear the Mount Union logo on its side and YES! it did!!

Dr. Tidman had caught up with the rest and they had made it back to the van.

The back door was open so Dr. Tidman had somehow gotten the spare carkey and had come in search (and rescue) of us.

Seeing Ben and Mike jumping out of the van with their shirts off to help us pack out bags into the van was indeed a welcoming sight.

We then decided on heading for Bear Rocks where we have lunch or a snack on the way home as none of us were extremely hungry.

We spent some time scrambling over the rocks and looking our on the view below...

Of in the distance be could see a line of white wind turbines.

Then we packed back into the van and have Powerade, youghurt, apples, and Nacho chips to munch during the drive home.

Most people slept or tried to sleep.

Me being wide awake, I watched the American countryside as it whipped past us.

Farmland with cattle grazing; Red, yellow, brown forests; a vast man made lake; and the Moon that I noticed at 4.15 pm, I laid eyes on.

We again stopped for McDonalds for dinner and we listened to the radio for much of the way back to Mount Union.

We stopped outside Keener House at 8.30pm, thanked and said goodbye to Mrs. Tidman and separated into our individual ways home.

That was the end of my first backpacking trip.

There were no mozzies (Thank God!), I didn't hug a tree, or save a bee, not even eat maggie mee (although we were given a mee cup!)...but it is pretty, pretty beautiful.

It was cold and wet in some parts, but the people were warm and friendly.

Now, I am curious to see how the Malaysian jungle compares =)

Chicago

2009-10-27T15:32:00.015-04:00

Fall Break in Chicago was hectic.

Alot of running around and seeing things.

We reached the motel at something like 6;30am Central Time.

We were allowed to check in and we had a couple hours to rest before we would be shuttled downtown and be free to see the city til 9.30pm.

Chicago being a last minute destination, I didn't exactly have any plans in the sense of what to see or what to do.

I ended up in a group of 5 and we decided to go sightseeing. Just like tourists, snapping photos here and there... Taking pictures on bridges and of the skyscrapers... Pulling out our maps every so often and asking for directions.... Yup, tourists... =)

Friday

Field Museum. We walked about four blocks from Ohio and Ontario to Michigan Avenue to catch a bus that would take us to the Field Museum.

Before that though, we pitstopped at a post office because one in our group wanted postcards to send to some people. As it turns out, no postcards in the post office Haha

So off we went again in search of Michigan Ave...

We passed tall buildings and some nicely ornamented ones as well, but as we got closer to Michigan Ave, shoplots sprang up. We got to the bus stop and eventually along came a bus to take us where we wanted to go. Cost of fare per person: $2.25. Inquiry to the bus driver on how much it would cost for 5 people: $9.00. Don't you love American math?!

Anyway, we got there and spent a good part of the day in there!

It was a huge building for natural sciences and display cabinet after display cabinet after display cabinet were arrayed to showcase animals, plants, culture, insects, evolution, dinosaurs, rocks, etc. etc.... Talk about information overload.

Well, we got done after 2 and hungry then, we exited in hopes of finding food.

Eventually, we decided to eat in the Shedd Aquarium. We chose to visit the aquarium over the Adler Planetarium that day (both admitted visitors til 4 and closed at 5).

So in we went to see little fishies and fill our stomachs.

3 hours later... we emerged and decided to see Willis (Sears) Tower!

After making our way back downtown by the same bus (this time we each paid $2.25), we walked some blocks to Willis Tower and made our way to the top.

It was cool...

We got there at dusk and hence saw a night view of Chicago.

They had installed 3 glass "boxes" which projected out of the wall of the building hence enabling you to look down and see the street below.

After that, we decided to go for a walk round Chicago.

It was delightful. Chicago is a really pedestrian friendly city and it was nice to just walk. We also went shopping and bought windows but just a tip if you are interested in shopping in Chicago, most of the shops seemed to close early. We had to go to State Street to find shops that were open til 9pm.

Guess shopping isn't something people do on a Friday night!

Saturday

We left the motel in the morning again but this time, "curfew" was at 10.30.

That day, we covered the Planetarium (which was quite disappointing) and went to Chinatown for lucnh. Ah... we missed Dim Sum but the food was good nonetheless =)

This time, we got to Chinatown via the metro.

After that, we went north to Navy Pier.

There, there wasn't all that much to see. There was a small mall there and you could walk outside near the lake shore.

After we got tired of Navy Pier, we decided to walk back to our meeting place, stopping at shopping areas along the way. Since it was Saturday, shops were open til 10 but not many people seemed to be in them.

Wondering what Chicago people did for relaxation in the evenings? So were we...

Well, apparently, if you were over 21, the bars and clubs was the place to go!

*Since I was not of "legal" age, I cannot give a personal account of the "night life" of Chicago =)

Instead, we again walked all the way back to our meeting place.

Having not had dinner yet, went to Hooters which suffice to say, is a very American restaurant.

After that, it was bed for the last night in Chicago as we would be going back tomorrow afternoon at 3pm.

Sunday

We had a last opportunity to see Chicago as we checked out around 8am.

We ended up strolling around town and decided to try the Chicago Pizza

Can you say CHEEESE?!?!

After lunch, we decided to walk to Millenium Park

After strolling around it, we realised that we had something like 15mins to get back to our meeting place.

RUN!

***

It was close.... but we made it in time =)

We took a group photo then off we went!

Back to Alliance!

Goodbye Chicago!

For video footage of Chicago, click here.

Alternatively, go on hoschkara.de to see the same video and brush up on your German!

More photos can be viewed on facebook.

Fall Break

2009-10-22T17:58:00.003-04:00

This time 48 hours earlier, I thought I would be heading for a weekend in the wilderness... sleeping in a tent... lugging a backpack... hiking all day.

The weather had other plans.

Near freezing temperatures and rain with a chance of snow caused our little expedition to rethink our plan to venture out into the woods. After some deliberation, camping in Dolly Sods, West Virginia, would be postponed to next weekend.

Great...

Now what?

Fall Break weekend had just opened up. 4 days free of classes and routine now looked doomed to be spent on campus. Not another summer...

But as God would have it, a query to Dawn meant that I am now where I am - in Chicago!

Yes, we decided to cough up $115 for the trip and here I am now...sitting on my half of the bed in the room I will be sharing with 3 other people.

Looks like someone upstairs had control (as usual) of my daily planner and if all goes according to the foreseeable plan, I would get to have my cake and eat it, so to speak!

Chicago this weekend, camping the next!

So...after this minor miracle, I am still left with the question: Now what?

What to see in Chicago? What to do? How to get there?

I suppose a couple of phone calls are in order...but I guess I could wait a couple more hours and let the sun rise a bit higher.

It's gonna be interesting!

~Written : 7.05am (Central Time), Friday Oct 16th 2009~

Malaysian Education

2009-09-30T23:10:00.008-04:00

is pretty good actually...

Okay, so before all you detractors out there start jumping down my throat, allow me to set the parameters of my statement...

1) I am speaking exclusively from my perspective and experience first in a Kebangsaan school, then Cambridge A-Levels, and now in Liberal Arts.

2) I studied in SMK Convent Green Lane and do not speak for any other school.

3) Also, I was from the science stream.

4) I studied in Disted College, taking Biology, Chemistry, and Mathematics.

5) I am studying in Mount Union College doing Liberal Arts.

(for all of you that go "Huh? Liberal Arts???", it is just a type of degree-level program where you not only study your subject of choice, say Accounting, but also other subjects unrelated to your 'major' i.e. Music, Science, Psychology, etc.)

6) I am talking about Malaysian education mainly in terms of content and not in terms of system.

Now that we're on common-er ground, perhaps my statement makes more sense...

Entering my 2nd semester here at MUC, I have taken approximately 12 classes here already.

To be honest, the US system is such that it does not seem very difficult to get an "A" provided your professor isn't "unreasonable".

I have been fortunate in that all my classes so far, doing assignments and homework well (as well as tests of course) have been enough to get me good grades. Of course, I haven't gotten into the "hard" stuff yet, if you can call it that, as most of my classes have been 100 and 200 level classes.

But when you think about it, I think that the stress levels will not be like how they were during say SPM.

1 semester is approximately 4 months long and even though you have final exams at the end of the semester, there are at least 2 other exams spaced out over the semester which contribute to your overall grade for that class. Not to mention that some classes count homework done and quizes as part of your grade and there's always extra credit =)

No more studying for 2 years and taking 10 papers (at least) in the space of a month which will "determine your future" ~Honestly though, looking back, SPM is not the be all or end all... I did relatively well in SPM and I think I would still be in the same position as I am today if I had missed a couple of As. Oh, the wonders of hindsight!~

Anyway, here, the worst that will happen is that there will be that one week when all your professors have conspired to set your test on... College life is busy. That, coupled with exams can really stress you out but if it were just exams you were worrying about, SPM wins hands down.

Next.. about subject matter...

So, remember I said I was from the science stream?

Well, one thing I realised when I did A-Levels was that there was a lot of overlap between the A-Levels syllabus and the SPM syllabus. Sure...A-Level Chem was almost a whole different story and Math as well but after going through those and peeking a little bit into what some of the Biology and Chem classes here learn, the knowledge I learnt in Malaysia is still very relevent.

Doing Math now after Miss Ang and Chuah Soon Ping, jumping straight into CalcII wasn't that hard... It's incredible looking back to think that I almost failed my first Add Maths test! Practice and more practice really does make perfect. If you hang in there long enough, you will eventually get the hang of it! Going through differentiation and integration the second and third time and relearning it is sooo much easier than the first time...and it gets easier every time you relearn it!

So if any of you reading this are Form 4s or Form 5s, Add Maths might be a hair-tearing, tear-shedding, head-banging, pain in the neck to learn and master but if you ever do math in college or uni, you will be sooo much better off if you had struggled through Add Maths and came off the wiser for it. It's a growing pain in life, so I urge you to embrace the challenge and to not give up without a fight.

Moving on to Accounting...

This semester, I am taking sort of an Introduction to Accounting class.

First and foremost, I would like to say

THANK YOU MS CHEE!!!

I still remember sitting ina row with Jo-ey, Cheng Yee, Li Ying, Beng Yen, and Yee Tang... (did I miss anyone of add anyone???)

I was fully aware that I was not brilliant at accounts...

I mean I was okay... I could do it... but I felt that I was the slow and steady turtle who couldn't compete with the fast and accurate hare of the likes of CY. Also, I can't say that totally understood accounts back then...

It was more of just knowing the format and where things went and practice practice practice...

I got my A1 but I was always muddled in objective questions...which supposedly, is where your accounting knowledge is really tested....

A couple of years on, and I realise that this accounting class I'm in is doing SPM stuff.

It's in English now and the pace of learning is waaay faster (1 month in and we've done Income statement, Balance Sheet, Work Sheet, Journal, adjusting entries, closing entries, and Statement of Owner's Equity). I am not sure that I would have been able to learn all the material this fast if I had not taken Prinsip Accounts... I see my classmates with no or little accounting experience suffering now and I am thankful for the 2 hours every week on Fridays when I went to tuition and bent over A4 papers drawing journals and T-accounts.

Like Maths, Accounts now makes way more sense doing it the second time through and even though I have not touched it for almost 2 years now, I seem to understand more easily why Revenue is a Credit and Depreciation Expense a Debit.

I am looking forward to learning the new and more advanced stuff now and would once again like to thank Ms Chee!

Alright, so with this post, hopefully I move off the bottom of Wei Loon's bloglinks column and that now you see why I think that Malaysian education 'aint so bad after all =)

The Euthyphro Question

2009-09-17T23:15:00.005-04:00

(modern version)

Is something morally correct because God approves of it?

Does God approve of it because it is morally correct?

Dream, Dream

2009-09-16T23:37:00.008-04:00

Tonight I dream
of what could be...
Tonight I dream
of possibilities.

Choices, options,
restrictions overcome?
Paths at my feet
Ideas in the air...

So many maybe's, can I's?
I need to know
I want to fly!

Lord keep my hand steady
and my heart nearby
You know which path
is best to take.

Wrong step
Right step
Best step yet.
Most important step:

May my heart
be right with you;
May you walk with me,
and I with you.

Amen.

~written Sept. 16th, 12am~

Silent Fury

2009-09-09T23:29:00.004-04:00

How do you live with your mistakes? Dealing with the consequent depression and letting go remains a challenge. Always, one wishes that one could turn back time and do things differently... Always, things look stupid with hindsight.

Be it something that slipped your memory, or knowledge that you wish you had then, head bashing, beating yourself up, kicking yourself, and tearing one's hair out always follows shooting oneself in the foot. Worse yet if you were having a pretty good day...this one small mistake or oversight is really a crappy way to end the day.

How now to get over it?

Putting on a brave front doesn't help when the person that you want to deceive is you.

At the end of the day, you still have to deal with the questions of "WHY did I forget??", "How could I have done (or not done) that?!", and the feelings of self irritation-that you let yourself down.

Comforters be warned: Reiterating the "we're just human" phrase is really not the best way to comfort someone.

It's no consolation. Who among us does not reach for the stars, for perfection, and is not disappointed when we fail?

But what can we do about it?

Life has no second chances. We have to take it, live with it, and move on.

Sure....Easier said than done.

You can push it aside with distractions, you can talk to a friend, rant on your blog, write in your diary... I guess it helps. I'm doing at least 3 of the 4 mentioned as it is... *Results yet to be verified*

But how do you prevent yourself from thinking about it? your mind from floating back to it? from wishing things had been different?

It's a "small" thing in perspective... Best to just let it be?

Perhaps...

Tides turn, time heals, things change.

Taking it all as a learning experience, always striving for perfection.

Perhaps as human beings, it is an unattainable goal.

But giving up is not an option I am willing to take.

It just hurts to fail.

Screwing up is like the plague... we all do our best to avoid it!

Screwing up over the small things is in some ways, even worse.

It increases self irritation in my case. It's not pretty when I'm irritated.

But what can we do but accept it with grace and try to find the silver linings in these dark depressing clouds? So, we will just have to live with the consequences and the what-could-have-beens.

In this writer's case, that's Rough; but maybe that's my lesson in life to learn.

To err is human; to forgive, divine

forgive yourself

First week of Fall09 over

2009-09-04T19:03:00.006-04:00

So, it's Friday evening at 7. As the post title suggests, the first week is over. The first stressful, readjustment, reacclimation week is over.. Well almost anyway...

What have I learned during my first week?
1) I'm still undecided about my major
2) First 2 days of classes are overwhelming
3) Being a CE is not that bad - it forces me out of my shell
4) I like Germans
5) Am revising SPM Prinsip Akauns now, hope new stuff is to come
6) Economics is kinda interesting...possible major?? (Oh no! Not another one...!)
7) I'm gonna enjoy Basic Drawing
8) Environmental Science is gonna make me go out and volunteer
9) Environmental Ethics is gonna be alot of talking
10) Differential Equations isn't yet as difficult as I thought it would be...
11) I hate buying textbooks!!

Well, I'll be up late tonight... but looking forward to tomorrow's Great Trail =)
Thanks, Jkor... After replying your email, everything fell into place =) alot happier now!

All in all, I'm getting back into the swing of things.. which is good =)
Now I'll just have to wait for IT to get my laptop back...

Fare thee well...& Happy Birthday

2009-08-29T22:29:00.003-04:00

I struggled with catching and remembering your name. This is one of the instances where things are funny with hindsight ;)

I remember our 'rock' getting emotional -yes, u were a lil ticked off, dont deny it...- when our dear overimaginative friend started using his creativity very err humourously, eh Ah Boy?? Hehe

Anyway, I just wanted to write to say to have blessed journey mercies and Happy Birthday =)
You're starting on a new adventure...a new life in a way... Embrace the change and welcome the new.

Even though I did not personally spend a whole lot of time talking or even being around you, I'm glad to have known you and we will always have 2008 in Disted.

Cheers, my friend.

Journaling the Journey

2009-08-27T23:11:00.007-04:00

Journaling ~as defined by moi~ is the consistent (and frequent) chronicalling of ones life and events. A personal update where when one looks back on, can see the flow of time and recognize the paces that have defined and influenced the present.

Therefore, journaling, like so many other things, require discipline. The journalist, the athlete who diligently cares to spend the time and effort committing memory to paper. I am a hopeless marathon runner in journaling. Diary after diary begun lasts mere weeks. I don't remember how many times I have aspired to keep a diary, only for it to fall by the wayside days later.

This year, I succeeded in making it from January to the month of April. Not too bad I suppose... I only missed 4 months of summer... I suppose I could pick it up again; although now I have the option of typing it out instead of writing decisions decisions

Well, I dare say that I have always thought that your memory was the best recorder; and that I rarely look back... but I suppose, 10, 20, 50 years on (if I live that long, God willing), it might be a fun read..or reread. Depending on how you look at it.

For now, I live in the present, in the here and now.

Perhaps I'll consider writing my summer adventures and besides soothing my conscience 'make up' for lost time. How do you think 'Summer Summaries' sound?

Let's see where this takes me...

2009-08-26T01:10:00.000-04:00

and I'm talking about the blog... Never thought I would start blogging til a certain someone suggested it. Guess that shows the influence =)

So, let's see how this goes and I invite all those who care to read my 2 cents worth to maybe share their 2 cents worth with me =)